If I said I was a fairly consistent and committed person, that would be a total lie. Say hi to a sliver of my life.
Hello, I’m cups. You can call me David for today, and this is hotcuppa.
As a kid, I jumped from friend group to friend group, and played a variety of games with the other kids at my primary school. Then, I was even able to imagine imaginary/conceptual games to enjoy with others (and oh, how violent my concepts were back then). My life wasn’t solid yet, and so was my personality.
Now, as I am growing older, I’ve come to terms that while my life isn’t solid yet, that isn’t an excuse to keep starting things that I can’t finish. Enter, my commitment and consistency issues (sorry if I tricked you into thinking this is just commitment).
I used to join so many clubs, and start so many projects. I remember joining a Dungeons & Dragons club simply because I had an imaginary mind who couldn’t even ponder the amount of pathways and possibilities a simple narrative outline could be expanded by a bunch of silly and goofy people as a group, who just wanted to have fun and enjoy the world of fantasy. Then, it fell into a sort of boredom, or strictness. A time when the club wasn’t in a good state, and everyone just got busier or got more bored. Sure, the club is still up and running today, but it isn’t the same as before. The thrills, the excitement.
Then, I joined a simple afterschool band organisation. It was a time and place where bands in the school could just jam out, record, or do whatever they want. It was great! It was fun! We had a good time, until the original members of the band had left and we had to replace them, and while the new members were great as a friend group, it didn’t really feel much like a band. Just sort of an event that I had to go to, simply because I didn’t have anything else to do. We’ve temporarily disbanded for a while, so now that’s gone.
Then comes literature/philosophy club, which was great. I was actually one of many who came up with the idea to start one of these, mostly because I just wanted to write like what I’m doing here in Substack. I had great plans, with collaboration from my other writer and artistic friends which never come into fruition. And so, my ideals did not come into reality, and I didn’t have the mental capabilities to have done it since I was a horrible overthinker (and still am) to propose the idea to the rest of the club and the club manager. It became more like a lunch reading club, which is fun but not my cup of tea (unfortunately).
Now, what I’ve just done is give some examples as to why my commitment issues are now so abhorrent. Overthinking even came to this rant. The fact that I’ve just steered away from the intent of this post, I have just proven that I am horrible at committing to these ideas.
But, there’s a good side to it. What if there was never an obligation to finish these tasks on my own, and what if being spontaneous could be a good thing?
Think about it. With a few other couple friends and myself, we were able to start things that people could draw inspiration from. Gatherings where people could enjoy its wonders from those specific clubs, through its original ideals or not. It didn’t have to be finished by me, for the greatest but most tragic of symphonies are those that are unfinished. The pieces that the next generation decides to pick up, to continue, to prevail. It was never an obligation to finish wonders, but to leave them unanswered for people to make something better… something new.
While I could go on to ramble more about these issues, and go into detail with new ones since I derailed this post’s original purpose (e.g. the overthinking), I’d rather finish something first before creating something new. Let’s not allow wonder and the imaginary realm to succumb to the death of our minds because it’s not all about us, rather it’s about the people who will outlive these wonders and succeed due to the foundations that we were able to place in our very reality.
Signing off, cups9